Victim or Victory?

In the past, my life has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Things would go my way for a little while and then suddenly it would be as if a rug had been snatched right out from under me. It’s hard to maintain a positive attitude when you look around and see so many bad things happening to folks. Even more difficult, when it is happening to us or members of our family and then we compound our own situations by trying to fix what is happening to the others we care so much about. Without even realizing what we are doing we assume their burden as our own.

I want to share something with you that has taken me almost 13 years to realize. Every single thing that happens to you in your life happens for a reason. Even the bad things, most especially the bad things, there is a divine plan in action even though it may not always be apparent. You may not think so at the time, but when all is said and done you will benefit from the experience. Every detail of your life was planned out before you ever came into existence.

Sit down and make a short list of troublesome situations you have experienced in the past. Limit your choices to things that occurred at least five years ago or longer. Now sit down and reflect on how your life was changed by those occurrences. In almost every situation I think you will see that you are better off as a result of what happened to you. Maybe you were fired from a very important job and now you have employment with less stress and more money. Maybe a relationship that you were completely committed to for 15 years ended, but now you find you are with the person that you have searched for all you life. Just look and you will see you are better off than you were. It was something that you had to experience to reach where you are today.

If you happen to find yourself in one of those situations now, there are a couple of things I want you to remember. First, nothing is ever as bad as your mind makes it out to be. If you will look back at past situations, you will find it really wasn’t all that bad and you made it thru just fine, though it may have been a difficult time in your life. Second, other people’s problems are just that, other people’s problems. They have their own lessons to learn just as you did. If you are in a position to help and you can, by all means do what is right. I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t lend a hand, I’m only saying don’t tax your spirit trying to resolve a situation that only the person involved can fix.

My next door neighbor is a deeply religious woman. She developed breast cancer and had to go thru all the horrible treatments and surgeries. I was talking to her one day in the garden and she told me she was losing faith. She didn’t know what she had done to make “God” turn his back on her and allow her to suffer as she had. I told her, Janet, this is not who you are, you are strong in your faith, you encourage people. You have always been a light in the darkness and you hold on to that. She did that and more, she took flowers from her garden to the treatment center, she prayed with the other patients that wanted her to and she read poetry to people as they waited. She found before long, she was feeling better even on the bad days and her spirit was lifted.

A few months later she saw me outside again and told me how the other patients she had seen were telling her what a blessing she was to them during the treatments. Some even told her that they would have given up were it not for her. I told her Janet, God didn’t turn his back on you; he put you where you could help others and make a difference. She could have never fully understood how they were suffering had she not gone through it herself. Her God would have never put her into that position, if she was not strong enough to persevere; in the process I believe she saved the lives of others. To this day Janet is certain, that was the reason for her battle. Now this is an extreme example, but you can see the point I’m trying to make. I myself suffered an enormous personal tragedy many years ago. To this day I have yet to know why I had to experience what I did, but I find great solace in knowing sooner or later the larger picture will be revealed and it was not in vain.

Today’s homework: Search for the silver lining…

You are not being punished and there is a higher purpose in all that happens. Though you may not see it now, one day it will all be crystal clear and you will know it helped create who you are as an individual. You can not always control you circumstances, but you can control how you choose to respond to them.